


i want to need you

by carpfish



Series: full heart and open door [2]
Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Desperation, Drunk Sex, Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 07:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpfish/pseuds/carpfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>long story short, Shouhei is simple, and Chitose is a sentimental slut.</p><p>"Chitose eventually falls asleep with an expression as innocent and unguarded as an angel, and Shouhei just watches the rise and fall of his chest, wondering where all that longing and sadness must come from."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to need you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ericsutr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ericsutr).



> fanfiction, project k.
> 
> oneshot, akagi shouhei x chitose dewa.
> 
> word count: 1114
> 
> warning(s): alcohol, heartbreak, non-explicit sex, tons of headcanon
> 
> dedicated to ayse

It’s a friday night, and Dewa is out on a recon mission for Kusanagi-san. That means that Chitose is going bar-hopping again, and past folly has proven that he cannot be left unsupervised. Somehow, the duty of ensuring that Chitose sees his liver to a slow painful death instead of a quick instantaneous one is left to Shouhei, although he’s not entirely sure how exactly this fate befell him.

Chitose starts out the night as cheery as always, and Shouhei finds himself in a loud but lively bar, filled with flashily dressed girls and drunk men. Shouhei’s been to his share of bars and parties, and feels surprisingly at home among all the merriment, music, and laughter- even if this bar’s particular selection of dubstep is beginning to make his head hurt. A wide grin on his face, Chitose offers to treat Shouhei to the first round of drinks, which Shouhei of course attempts to respectfully decline (his job here is to make sure Chitose doesn’t get too drunk, not get drunk himself after all), but Chitose ignores any and all opposition and orders Shouhei a beer anyways.

Chitose is all smiles, winks, and flirtatious lines as he reels in girls to their side like a skilled fisherman, and Shouhei’s pretty certain that a wingman of any sort isn’t necessary. It’s strange though, no matter how many women giggle at his pick-up lines or blow him kisses from across the room, Chitose doesn’t seem to react much to any of them. It’s rather contrary from the way that Dewa normally describes him to be- picking up girls and sleeping with them left and right. If Shouhei looks closely, he almost imagines to see a flash of emotion- something disappointed and resigned- in Chitose’s eyes as he looks each girl up and down, as if discerning or searching for something.

By the third bar, it’s impossible for Shouhei not to notice the tiredness and weariness present on Chitose’s face, and true to his nature, he expresses his concern. Chitose appears a bit startled at Shouhei’s minding, and a smile lights up his face again. “Ah, it’s nothing. Guess tonight’s not a lucky night, that’s all. None of those girls were my type,” he laughs, brushing it off. Later, when Chitose doesn’t think anyone’s watching, Shouhei spots that sad look on his face again, and it hurts Shouhei to see it.

It’s in the shaded corner of a bar with a tacky disco ball hanging from the ceiling and colored lights bouncing off it and splashing patterns onto the walls that Chitose stares at Shouhei with the most unguarded pitiful look that Shouhei’s seen all night, and it makes Shouhei just want to pick up the pieces and make it all okay. Chitose hesitates only for a moment, before cupping Shouhei’s cheek and murmuring a soft “I’m sorry” against Shouhei’s lips, and proceeds to kiss him. Chitose smells and tastes of alcohol, but he’s also so desperate that Shouhei can only accept what he has to give.

Shouhei knows what Chitose wants from him, and while he’s not sure he can love Chitose, Shouhei wants to be able to comfort him, at least so he won’t have that lost look in his eyes ever again. The way that Chitose stiffens and nearly breaks into tears when Shouhei actually responds to his kiss is heartbreaking.

They end up in tangle of limbs and connected lips as they make their way back to Chitose’s apartment, which is predictably close to the bar district. Chitose kisses Shouhei over and over again, on the lips and nose and forehead and eyelids and anywhere he can get access to, and he keeps running his hands through Shouhei’s hair, as if he can’t believe what’s going on and wants to hold on to this. Shouhei muses that he never took Chitose for such a romantic, and somehow that’s more sad than amusing.

Chitose lowers Shouhei onto the bed slowly and gently, like a lover instead of a drunken one night stand, and Shouhei thinks that it’s no surprise that he’s so popular with the women if this is how he treats all of his bedmates. Chitose is delicate and considerate, not as wildly passionate as Shouhei thought he’d be, and there’s a measure of comfort in that. Shouhei wraps his arms around Chitose and just lays there on the bed with him for several moments, and Chitose practically sobs. Shouhei kisses the salty trails of tears from his cheeks.

Chitose is surprisingly receptive to Shouhei’s touches, although Shouhei’s certain that Chitose has an infinitely larger wealth of experience this department. Chitose gives soft moans of Shouhei’s name, expressive sounds, and breathy sighs to indicate his pleasure, when Shouhei looks into his eyes, Chitose seems so delicate that he might break. The way that Chitose arches his back to meet Shouhei’s thrusts, or the way he trails kisses down from Shouhei’s neck to his naval are all beautiful, and Shouhei murmurs comforts and lovely words into Chitose’s skin, driven by an urge to destroy but also to heal.

Chitose eventually falls asleep with an expression as innocent and unguarded as an angel, and Shouhei just watches the rise and fall of his chest, wondering where all that longing and sadness must come from.

The next morning, Chitose opens his eyes, and nearly screams when he sees Shouhei in bed next to him. His eyes widen in terror and guilt, and he opens his mouth wide no doubt about to spill with a flood of “i’m so sorry”s and “i don’t know what happened”s, when Shouhei silences him with a deep kiss, telling him that it’s alright. Chitose looks so confused but even more thankful in that moment, and he just wraps his arms around Shouhei’s neck as if he’ll never let go.

Shouhei doesn’t want to tell Chitose that sex means even less to him than it does to Chitose, and Shouhei doesn’t think that he’s in love with Chitose the way that Chitose wants to be loved either. But for now, supporting Chitose and loving him in what ways that he can is what puts a smile to his face, so Shouhei will do his best to keep doing so.

From that morning on, Shouhei learns that Chitose is a great cook, and every night they manage to fall into each others’ arms and beds. There’s something very, very wrong with this and Shouhei feels it deeply and acutely as a cutting knife, even if Chitose can’t, but he doesn’t know how to put his finger on it. After all, nothing bad could be born out of such good intentions, right?

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off me and ayse's extensive headcanons about chitose's love/sex life and why he does what he does. i will explain these headcanons one day. today is not that day.


End file.
